Interesting email...

Published on April 30, 2004 By highbass In Misc

im not the one to read random email messages but this one got my attention for a quite well reason.... read it and find out yourself .. -

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This is all true. September 7th. The clock is ticking...."
Written by Matt Lazzara

I don't think a lot of people sit around and contemplate their lives. I mean, people think about their futures and what they're going to do, and what they should have done in order to achieve something, but I don't think anyone contemplates their present. What they're doing right now. Everyone's heard of living in the moment or whatever, but I think very few people act on it. Myself included and that's something that I regret immensely.
Life is a finite thing. Obviously, everyone's life is going to end, but mine has a time limit. No surprises for me, and depressingly enough, that time limit is going to run out rather soon. I've never really told anyone how long I have left, or what exactly (in great detail) is wrong with me, because I would rather myfriends viewed me as a vital, volaile, rather silly human beings, but at age 21, most people don't understand or know how to contemplate the thought that someone you know, they would abandon me for more secure, lasting relationships.
So everyday, every minute is vital to me, the most mundane things are breaths of fresh air. The things that most people take for granted but shouldn't - a kiss, a pudding fight, a good long walk or an intriguing conversation - are now intensely important to me, and I think they should be important to everyone. The fact that I know I won't be able to experience these things makes them achingly more important to me, and they make me desparate to achieve them one more time.

I want to close my eyes and kiss a girl one more time; the kind of kiss that makes you feel like you're floating, the kind where you forget to do something with your hands because it's so good. I want to go camping, and lay in the grass and think how naively beautiful the day is. I want to shoot off fireworks and run away when the cops pull up. I want someone to hold my hand and tell me something nice about myself. I want to be able to read the paper and deride George W. to someone, and have them hate that asshole with me. I want to sit on a stoop late into the night, drinking shitty beer and telling stories. I want to feel alive, and not dead or dying, and think that those things - the most trivial and passing connections to the world and people in it - are violently important.

So this is my contribution to you. I'm desperately telling you - all of you- to take advantage of your youth and vitality. I hear too many people talking about college and getting shitty jobs afterward. I hear too many people talking about work and how this and that sucks. Fuck, we're all wasting our lives doing things that disconnect us from everyone else! You don't need a four or five year plan, and you sure as hell don't need to worry about feeling innocent and immature again. Worry about making everyday something to talk about, and not just another blank page in your life.

I used to act like you. I had a plan. I had a future, and all that blew away, but right now, I barely have a present, and that's how I've realizewd the error of our ways. Please, please, don't get old and die, and die of cancer, and realize you did nothing with your life but make plans that never happened. Don't miss opportunities anymore. If you like someone, tell them, if you think the time is right to kiss someone, do it. If you feel like you're in a rut, don something to stupid and silly and fun. If you feel the world is ugly, make something beautiful. Stop being so cautious, some movie line said : if you take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.

Trust me, as much as life sucks sometimes, and wow, do I know it sucks, it is still the only thing we know. It is the only thing that matters, and it's wonderful. Life is a beautiful, ridiculous, tragic disaster, but it's the only thing we have. So don't let it lie by the wayside in pursuit of crap that's barely important. People are the most important resource, and so are the relationships we build with them. I feel the pinch of that more ever now. If we could spend 400 billion dollars to cure cancer instead of building and maintaining weapons, I wouldn't have to write this. So this is, essentially, a plea. This is the most personal thing I've ever written, and I hope it reaches more people than I ever could.

Don't forget this is the only life you have, make something worthwhile out of it, and no one who you've laughed, cried, kissed, and bled with will ever forget you.

Matthew D, Lazzara
April 2, 1982 - February 15, 2004

Comments

Muggaz

on May 01, 2004

Absolutely fantastic.

Really drives the point home. Thanks for sharing this.

BAM!!!

MadPoet41

on May 01, 2004

If you feel the world is ugly, make something beautiful.

I love this line. Is there any way to find out more about this remarkable young man? Where was the email found, and how did it come to be posted? Very powerful and moving message here. Thanks for sharing it.

~MadPoet

gothic impulse

on May 01, 2004

I know where you are coming from ..make the most of every minute/second ...life is to be lived ..are you wasting yours?

MasonM

on May 01, 2004

Wow, that really is something to think about. Life is precious and all of us are guilty of wasting a lot of it on things that really mean nothing in the long run, myself included.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Sherye Hanson

on May 01, 2004

I'm from a generation that lived this way. What did we have in our thirties? Nothing. I think that balance would be best. Enjoy the moment, but plan the future.

BigDreamer415

on May 01, 2004

It is pretty sad how we go about our daily lives not thinking too much about what we're doing, not enjoying every little detail. Live every day as if it were your last, just about sums that whole thing up, I think.

Sarah

dharmagrl

on May 01, 2004

I live that way...or I should say I try to live that way.

new-age nomad

on May 01, 2004

whoa, that's a lot to marinate on...

I may have to reread this every morning, because I want my mind to absorb it fully.

wow...
wow...

Trinitie

gothic impulse

on May 02, 2004

I would like to share my favourite quote. One i try to live by.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. That is to have succeeded."

Jess

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